Atrocious Attire

With a population of just under 30 000 people, Rexburg, Idaho probably isn't considered a major urban center, in any sense. So, I guess in some respects it is understandable that people aren't quite up to par on the fashion side of things, seeing as the two major shopping centers include the DI(second hand clothing) and Walmart, (where I will say I have found some decent buys, don't hate) but it also seems practically disrespectful to some of the rest of the world to have some of the acts I see go unnoticed. We have come to the conclusion that there is some sort of invisible force field surrounding the BYU campus. It seems as if  no one with any sense of style can penetrate this undetectable force. Okay, okay, some of this may be rash judgment, but after the things seen on this campus most people with adequate judgment would agree.  Something needs to be done.

A week ago I was jaunting across campus in hopes of actually attending a class on time, 100% focused on my goal when HOLY!!!! I stopped dead in my tracks. I felt like I was observing a rare and possibly volatile animal. For the next few sentences you'll have to use your imagination, and honestly, it still probably won't be good enough. Picture THIS: Leopard print dress, half way down the thigh, trimmed in a two inch long black lace, covered with a Michellin Man Red puffed jacket, hair tied back with a bow that I believe they only sell to children under the age of three months when they can't yet decide what gender they are, and topped off (or bottomed I guess) with the most pungent looking Pink you can imagine tights, in two inch black pumps.
Now. If you don't need a breath after that, you clearly have a stomach.
I will give the girl credit though. If she didn't get noticed by someone and get asked on some sort of date I'm clearly doomed. Who would notice me next to that rodeo!
I guess you could say I have my work cut out for me. In reality, i feel torn. --Do I help these fashion deprived students? Dedicate my life to them? In a sort of Stacy/Clinton way? --Do I ignore the fact, realizing that Rexburg, Idaho has the highest percent of marriages in the county? --Or do I give IN to the fact, realizing it has clearly worked for some, why not me?