Lemons

The truth is, every apartment gets a bad lemon. The worst part? It's not a car; you can't just go and trade it in. What are you supposed to do with a 300 pound lemon? Even worse, what do you with the 300 pound lemon that brings another 300 pound lemon into your apartment? You can't even make lemonade! Where are you going to get enough sugar to actually make this lemonade taste decent?! The answer is simple, you're not! You're only option is to "smoke" the lemons out. This can be done in many ways; literally smoke them out (probably not your best option), befriend them (which leads to suicide, not worth it), turn off the electricity (causes foul language and fearing for your life), and my personal favorite, be as loud and obnoxious as possible. We have strategically chosen the last option.

How to "smoke out" using the loud and obnoxious method

Ingredients:

-Handful of friends

-4-5 roommates on your side

-2 cups of spite

-3 cups of balls

-1/4 teaspoon love

-1 cup of sarcasm

Directions:

First, in a large bowl mix a handful of friends with your 4-5 roommates. In a second bowl mix 2 cups of spite and 2 cups of the balls 1 cup of sarcasm. Combine the last cup of balls with 1/4 teaspoon of love in a saucepan and stir until boiling. Combine the first and second bowls. Roll out, then stick in the oven at 500 degrees. Once it looks done, let sit on counter for 1-2 days. Then pour on everything in the saucepan.


The combination of all these ingredients will, more than likely, cause drama and may be a fist fight or two but I guarantee it will piss them off enough to get them out.


On a happier note, boys do in fact have the ability to grow some balls! Someone has a date this week! It may have taken a couple million hints but it has, in fact, happened!


XOhXOh
Loquacious Ladies <3